I do not know about you, but I have not done any spring cleaning and or changes in my life since I made a New Years resolution in 2009 that I did not keep once again. My mind had a sparkle on New Years and I had some sincere ideas of where my life needed to go. I remember feeling enthusiasm. As soon as the enthusiasm came and penetrated my thick skin it was repelled and or attacked by my white blood cells who identified it as a foreign subject and eradicated it.
Some days you walk around your house and realize you have not moved one item in it since you moved in.
Am I the only one who walks around in boredom and pokes at the things I own and consider them an amenity but extremely useless. I have days that I wonder why I'm in the place I'm in and look at my suitcases more than once. My worn out suitcases I may add that have definitely been worth the money.
All my life I watched my mothers feet rub up against one another in comfort as she lay in bed or napped in luxury on her couch. She luxurately rubbed her feet against one another before drifting off or waking up.
As my mother lay dying a nurse pulled the covers from her feet and she lay medicated with those feet comfortable rubbing against one another.
My mother was an example of a mind that was never stagnant. Those rubbing feet always let me know their was a place inside my mother that was perfectly decorated and she went their often to visit it. My Mother had a comfort zone known only to her that she single handedly decorated herself, just like we all do. The difference between her and me is that she constantly knocked down those cobwebs and washed those linens and cleaned her interior floors. When all was well inside her walls, Katie bar the door because she was coming for your dysfunction with her eradicating tongue.
If it could be cleaned exteriorly or internally it was done immediately but preferably at 5 am when the sun was still down.
I inherited my dads genes and me and my loving mother were like fire and ice.
They were not a lot of things my mother did not recognize in herself that were dysfunctional that she did not eradicate immediately. They were five kids in my family and she recognized every dysfunction we were entering and came at us with extra strength raid. It was never funny. It was not even cute. It just plainly enraged most of it.
Now it's so funny I burst out uncontrollably in laughter thinking about it.
I'm a clean freak with my home but let me tell you, I can get myself down very quickly and hold onto a dysfunctional situation for quite awhile before I know I've been bit by the Dysfunctional Bug.
I was walking around today so bored I surprised what I was doing with myself other than lounging in a hot tub and reading books away from the world.
I started thinking about my creative sister and her ability to reinvent herself over and over again and she told me she was suppressing the urge to venture out again. I live with that urge continuously. Speaking for myself, I know that urge is only a sign telling me to quench my thirst. I want a new outlook. I want a new venture. I want the thrill of the pursuit.
My secure environment and familiar surroundings and hot tub keep me rubbing my feet and reverting within.
Unlike my Mother I am one sided and have not balanced myself with the exterior world lightly.
On the other hand my sister dabbles in the exterior world and acts like she likes it.
It's funny knowing she loathes it.
My sister and I have many hits that are identical. Even the recent eradication of the enthusiasm gene in our interior design.
Is it our age and life experience that keeps our heads in our shells? Is it the comfort we have acquired that has made us want to settle in our lives and not seek the deeds to come? Could it be the nap we need when the reinvention ideas emerge.
I can firmly say that my sister and I both know that there is another place we need to be. The feeling is so strong it calls to us. It saddens us. That feeling has always existed within me that I was born to fly. Why was I born with my feet on the ground?
I have written many articles and most of them lie in the balance we have in life.
Today I just woke up with a thirst that has to be quenched.
I looked into my mind and saw cobwebs effecting my thinking process and
dust balls sitting on my endorphin producing glands stopping production of those needed needed
The creative corner with all the magic I possessed was desolate as I looked around and the colors of my whimsy had run down the walls weeping.
My mother appeared in my interior house with rags in hand and quickly cleaned up the area slamming the school like chairs onto the soft matter that was my brain without saying a word. What an afternoon nap that was.
It seemed my house that stayed in my soft brain matter was a mess. The couch and carpeting I had chosen for it's interior was not even close to what my exterior would expect.
I get lost like we all do. In my later years as I watch people I love continue on to places unknown. I have observed the last breath that drew in their lives and at some point I look to the sum up what they were in this life like we all do to ease the pain of their loss.
Pictures seem to tell you how much you added to their lives and how much they enriched you.
I have a gift of perception like my mother did and I did not realize it until I was older.
I believe you should walk through your life on the edge of something all the time.
I believe love should be an experience that keeps your knuckles white with passion.
I believe something is over the horizon.
I believe there is a better place for me and I will find it.
I believe all my reinvention ideas are worth trying.
I believe I'm a writer and a poet and a creative package of dynamite.
I believe I will redicate my interior and start being true to myself once again.
I believe adventures and make believe are for adults only.
Take a look inside and clean your interior walls with me.
Whether in a marriage or relationship or single, simply lay back in your bed and picture the inside of your brain as an interior home and start laughing as you walk around in it and look at the conditions within.
If your creative it will be an eye opener.
Do not take a nap while your down. Get yourself up and live.